Every day, in American cities large and small, the English language suffers unspeakable abuses. Doctors, newspaper editors, lawyers, shop owners, and members of the clergy all contribute to the anguish. The proof is in the pages of this calendar: in 314 examples (Saturdays and Sundays share a page) culled from headlines, church newsletters, court transcripts, and other sources, Richard Lederer, author of the syndicated column“Looking at Language” and more than two dozen books, gives us the funniest linguistic offenses, from the headline “Lack of Brains Hinders Research” to a note suggesting calendars are more important than ever: “Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.” Includes yearly grids for 2012 and 2013 and pages for notes.